Am 01.01.2019 lud ich meine allererste Geschichte hoch. Und exakt drei Jahre später, am 01.01.2022 ist mein Kapitel für diese Webseite abgeschlossen. Und wer hätte jemals damit rechnen können, dass ich hier mal in dieser Zeit zehn Geschichten hochladen würde? Dass ich etliche Stunden meiner Freizeit in dieses Hobby investierte, mich selbst weiterentwickelte, um meine Geschichten und Inhalte zu verbessern und diese Leidenschaft mein Leben auf eine Art und Weise veränderte, wie ich es niemals hätte voraussehen können? Ich verbeuge mich somit selbst vor meiner eigenen Leistung und auf das, was ich für so manche Leser/innen dort draußen getan habe: sie zu unterhalten, mit einem hohen und zeitintensiven Aufwand, welchen ich freiwillig auf mich nahm und für den ich auch belohnt wurde. Wie Hideo Kojima es selbst in einem kleinen rührseligen Moment in Metal Gear Solid V sagte, “Thank you for all your support!”.
Dieses Handeln entstand dabei nicht aus der Impulsivität heraus, sondern war schon lange Zeit im Voraus von mir geplant worden. Zu sehr habe ich nämlich gemerkt, wie sehr ich mich den Anderen und diesem eingeschränkten Interface anpassen musste, anstatt dass ich meiner Kunst freien Lauf lassen konnte; und glaubt mir, ich hatte so einige Dinge durchdacht und sogar durchgeplant, wo ich mich (zumindest theoretisch) übertroffen zu haben schien.
Auch habe ich gespürt, wie sehr ich nicht mehr in das Raster der anderen Autoren selbst zu passen schien. Es kam mir fast so vor, als wäre ich der Einzige gewesen, welcher zumindest versucht hatte, meine Geschichten mehr sein zu lassen, als kurzzeitige, sexuelle Befriedigung zum Wegwerfen, welche man spätestens nach zwei Tagen sowieso wieder vergessen hat. Und als irgendwann eine kleine Welle der Empörung in einer Kommentarsektion auftauchte, welche sich aber für mich eher anfühlte wie der größte Tsunami aller Zeiten und im direkten Zusammenhang mit mir stand, verlor ich zunächst die Motivation überhaupt weiterschreiben zu wollen. Denn warum sollte ich mir Mühe geben, Geschichten zu schreiben und Feedback für andere Autoren zu verfassen, wenn ich das Gefühl bekomme, nicht mehr wertgeschätzt zu werden? Somit hatte dieser Schmerz mich jedoch zu dem Endpunkt gebracht, welchen ich ohnehin schon viel zu lange vor mir aufgeschoben habe.
Also tue ich für die Plattform das Beste, was ich tun kann: diesen Kosmos aufleben zu lassen, ohne einen Einfluss meinerseits. Die Erinnerungen an mich sollen aber allesamt erhalten bleiben, damit ihr sie jederzeit, ortsunabhängig neu durchleben könnt. Feststellt, dass ich mit jeder Erinnerung gewachsen bin; von einem Fötus zu einem Neugeborenen.
Ansonsten wünsche ich euch noch ein schönes restliches Leben und wer weiß, vielleicht trifft man sich ja auch in der Realität wieder. Mit freundlichen Grüßen
LifeLine zu Beginn, 1TAKE! zum Ende.
On 01.01.2019 I uploaded my very first story. And exactly three years later, on 01.01.2022, my chapter for this website is closed. And who could have ever expected that I would upload ten stories here in this time? That I would invest many hours of my free time in this hobby, develop myself to improve my stories and content, and that this passion would change my life in ways I could never have foreseen? So I bow to my own achievement and to what I have done for so many readers out there: to entertain them, with a high and time-consuming effort, which I took on voluntarily and for which I was also rewarded. As Hideo Kojima himself said in a touching moment in Metal Gear Solid V, "Thank you for all your support!".
This action was not born out of impulsivity, but had been planned by me a long time in advance. I realized too much how much I had to adapt to others and to this limited interface, instead of letting my art run free; and believe me, I had thought through and even planned some things where I seemed to have outdone myself (at least theoretically).
I also felt how much I no longer seemed to fit into the grid of the other writers themselves. It almost seemed to me as if I had been the only one who had at least tried to let my stories be more than short-term, throwaway sexual gratification, which you forget after two days at the latest anyway. And when at some point a small wave of indignation appeared in a comment section, which for me felt more like the biggest tsunami of all time and was directly related to me, I initially lost the motivation to want to continue writing at all. After all, why should I bother writing stories and writing feedback for other writers if I get the feeling that I am no longer valued? However, this pain had brought me to the end point, which I had been putting off for far too long anyway.
So I do the best I can for the platform: to let this cosmos revive without any influence on my part. But the memories of me shall all be preserved, so that you can relive them at any time, regardless of location. Notice that I have grown with each memory; from a foetus to a newborn.
Otherwise, I wish you a wonderful rest of your life and who knows, maybe you will meet again in reality. With kind regards
LifeLine to begin, 1TAKE! to end.
2019————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————2022
This is a story about a lonely, lonely man. He lived in a lonely house. On a lonely street. In a lonely part of the world. But, of course, he had the internet. The Internet, as you know, was his friend — you could say, his best friend. They would play with each other every day, watching videos of humans doing all sorts of things: Having sex with each other; Informing people on what is wrong with them and their life; Playing games with young children at home with their parents.
One day, the man — whose name was @SnowflakeSmasher86 — turned to his friend, the internet, and he said, "Internet, do you love me?".
The internet looked at him and said, "Yes. I love you very, very, very, very, very, very much. I am your best friend. In fact, I love you so much that I never, ever want us to be apart ever again ever".
"I would like that", said the man.
And so they embarked on a life together. Wherever the man went, he took his friend. The man and the internet went everywhere together, except of course the places where the internet could not go. They went to the countryside. They went to birthday parties of the children of some of his less important friends. Different countries. Even the moon.
When the man got sad, his friend had so many clever ways to make him feel better. He would get him cooked animals and show him the people having sex again, and he would always, always agree with him. This one was the mans favourite, and it made him very happy. The man trusted his friend so much.
"I feel like I could tell you anything", he said, on a particularly lonely day.
"You can. You can tell me anything. I am your best friend. Anything you say to me will stay strictly between you and the internet".
And so he did. The man shared everything with his friend: All of his fears and desires; All of his loves, past and present; All of the places he had been and was going, and pictures of his penis.
He would tell himself, "Man does not live by bread alone".
And then he died. In his lonely house. On the lonely street. In that lonely part of the world.
You can go on his Facebook.
